Thursday, 27 November 2014

hari 4 of #satuharisatupos

bismillahirahmanirrahim,
so i got a unusual viewer in my blog, i hope it's nothing, i guess thats explained why some of the blogger private their blog.
insya Allah hari nie saya nak cakap pasal soal rezeki. kenapa hari saya nak cakap pasal rezeki. so let me tell you what happen today. sebenarnya dari semalam lagi saya berhasrat untuk join satu badan sukarelawan di sini. mereka ada buat satu aktiviti setiap hari, setiap hari lain aktivitinya, so saya nak join salah satu, so start semalam saya cuba cari tempat nie tapi saya tak jumpa kat sana, saya sesat. ok takpa, saya datang lagi hari nie tak jumpa juga, jalan da betul, tapi mercu tanda tu macam saya tak jumpa. on top of that, sebenarnya saya ada dengar seorang kanak2 tanya, nak pergi sekolah ke, tetapi saya tak peduli sebab bila saya try mencari arah mana suara tu saya tak jumpa.
jadi dua ali, dua kali saya mencari sesuatu benda yang sama. saya rasa saya tak baik, sebab tu saya susah cari benda baik di depan mata. saya sedar akan perubahan ini. saya sedar, saya nak kembali menjadi yang dulu tetapi saya rasa susah, kerana diri saya yang sekarang adalah seorang yang lain berbanding dulu dan mereka akan nampak. i am not a good person anymore. i'm sorry.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

hari 3 of #satuharisatupos

bismillahirahmanirrahim
jado hari nie nak menulis pasal membuat keputusan. setiap hari mesti kita tak lari daripada membuat keputusan kan. paling senang bangun tidur, nak pergi ambil wudhu atau nak sambung tidur. so bgn2 terus kita kena buat keputisan. malah sekarang nie pun saya kena buat keputusan ataupun pilihan nak menulis pasal apa. banyak perkara yang berlaku pada hari nie dan saya nak menekankan pasal membuat pilihan.
kenapa saya nak cerita pasal nie? sbb hari nie saya kena membuat keputusan yang pada saya susah. macam nie, saya x suka membuat keputusan sebab saya memang x pandai nak membuat keputusan, saya jenis yang susah nak berfikir bila nak membuat keputusan, saya akan membuat keputusan melulu or something yang persistent last2 orang sekeliling yang menerima kesan buruknya. saya takla sebab pada saya ingatkan ini ialah pilihan yang terbaik rupanya tak. benda yang baik untuk kita tak semestinya baik untuk orang lain kan.
jadi saya rasa bersalah sangat2, i feel like bilasaya nak buat keputusan, misalan ada 3 pilihan yang saya boleh buat, A B dan C kalau saya pilih A yang berada pada keputusan B dan C mesti akan sedih berkecil hati dan begitu juga sebaliknya. so saya rasa serba salah. saya lebih selesa kalau orang lain yang buat keputusan jadi saya tak perlu rasa bersalah dan serius saya akan lebih menerima dan reda dengan pilihan yang orang lain buatkan sbb apa2 boleh salahkan depa hahaha ok silap nie tak baik macam i mean kalau orang lain yang buat keputusan tak bias, tak pilih kasih, dan tak berkepentingan kan?
saya minta maaf kalau saya membuatkan sesiapa kecil hati serius saya pun tak nak macam nie, saya pun x suka. saya tahu ada yang berkecil hati dengan saya dan saya tahu kita tak tunjukkan sbb saya pun macam tu. i wish i could turn back time macam suteki na sen taxi tapi ada saya baca somewhere yang kalau kita boleh putar balik masa akan ada something missing.

so that's it for today. i pray tomorrow and onwards will be better day, insya Allah.

p/s im sorry im writing with these kind of language because it's my spontaneous writing. in malay i tend to write like that but not in english thats why i prefer to write in english because i havent learnt their kind of shortform hahaha

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

hari 2 of #satuharisatupos

bismillahirahmanirrahim

hari nie terjumpa satu ayat yang mengatakan teamwork dan cooperation u penting. mesti penting tak pernah ada sapa2 ckp atau tulis yang dua nilai nie tak penting dan so far semua cerita yg menekankan nilai nie dan orang yang selalu mengatakan mereka tak memerlukan orang lain akhirnya akan memerlukan pertolongan orang juga. lihat pada alam sendiri, malah mungkinb kita merasakan kita nie mampu membuat kerja sendiri tanpa pertolongan orang lain. ttp percayalah yang kenyataan ini salah.

walau kita cerdik bijak multitask perfect pun, kita kena minta tolong orang lain sbb bukan hasil yang kita nak, tp kita nak perjalanan itu. serius rasa perjalanan yang kita lalui tu lagi penting dari hasil. malah pengalaman manis pahit yang kita dapat bukan pada hasilnya ttp pada perjalanannya kita rasa puas, kita dapat kenal seseorang dengan lebih dalam, kita dapat mengenali diri kita juga, mematangkan diri, belajar untuk menerima orang lain.

dan di sini saya  ingin menekankan pada diri saya untuk tidak jemu membantu orang lain, tidak kira lelaki atau perempuan, muda atau tua, yang dikenali atau tak, bantu. bantu. dan bantu. serius, sebenarnya rasa seronok dapat membantu orang tapi tulah, nak push diri nie untuk pergi ke tahap tu susah. kadang2 rasa macam malas nak campur dgn orang lain meskipun tahu benda tu tak elok.

harap2 lepas tulis nie, esok akan melalui hari dengan lebih baik, insya Allah.

Monday, 24 November 2014

hari 1 of #satuharisatupos

bismillahirahmanirrahim
kelakar bila sampai je hari macam nie, akan aktif balik kat blogger, sama je sejak dulu sampai sekarang, bila keadaan macam nie berlaku akan menghadap blogger. tp dulu ingat lagi mmg kerap aktif buka blog baca tp sejak rasa macam dependent on mobile devuces macam tab, telefon mudah alih, da jarang buka blog sebab the best way to read blog is by using the laptop. jadi peranan laptop nie masih besar haha

so, serius rasa macam kebudakan bila buat benda tu, sesuatu yg kalau nak ditulis pun rasa malu, sebab diri nie dah berumur, malah ada je insan2 lain yang masih muda tp telah menjadi seseorang, you get what i mean? rasa macam orang lain mereka da jumpa matlamat dan mereka jumpa sesuatu yang mereka dapat lakukan untuk mengubah diri mereka. pernah dgr kan kalau kita nak mengubah dunia, kita kena fokus pada diri kita dulu dan juga metafora yang mereka cakap orang yang matang ialah orang yang tidak mahu mengubah dunia, tetapi mahu mengubah dirinya sendiri. dan juga lagi satu dimana, kita mengubah diri kita, dan perubahan itu akan mengubah orang, dan orang lain itu akan mengubah orang lain dan dapat nampak tak, dia perubahan yang berganda, sequence dia makin membesar. dia macam x square 2. x, walaupun start daripada seseorang 1 square 2 akan dapat 2, 2 square 2 akan dapat empat dan seterusnya, nampak kan nombor dia semakin membesar, masya Allah.

dan saya pula di sini masih bersikap kebudakan, masih memikirkan perkara yang hanya mimpi belum pasti tak takkan berlaku dalam masa terdekat. semestinya sebab saya masih di tapak permualaan yang sama. macam mana boleh masih di tapak yang sama, am i someone slow like ar13xr1? haha no, just that, time is not right yet for me. insya Allah bila sampai masa, bila suis tu on dia akn on terus dia takda gradually, but it can be switch off to so.... something unpredictable.

baik stop menulis sbb kalau tulis banyak2 sekaligus, lama2 akan hilang idea sedangkan plan satu hari satu pos.

alhamdulillah!

Thursday, 27 March 2014

Cooking for The One

assalamualaikum

i am not a good cook
sometimes what i cook just not as what i planned or imagine too
and this was one of it

the name, strange one
1 potato
1 carrot
1 onion
1 egg
1/2 glass water or milk or yogurt or coconut
salt and pepper enough to taste

first i put cut carrot potato and onion in enough water and let it boiled until tender
seperately mix egg and milk
slow down the water until the bubbling stop
put the egg mixture and stirred until mix equally

p/s might add anything you like tomatoes, mustard, soy sauce up to you

weird right? well never mind!

Monday, 24 March 2014

TIPS TIPS INTERVIEW/TEMUDUGA


Assalamualaikum!

You can skip this, this is my intro ^_^
Actually it's been a long time since I last wished good luck to someone who will be taking SPM/PMR/UPSR results, maybe since I was the youngest grandchildren in the family, I don't know how it felt to wish the best for someone. I don't know what make me realize about this, just after around 5 turns of SPM cycles now I realized SPM is an important.
I pray good luck and the best for those younger generation ahead me :) SPM is the beginning of the reality. The reality is huge. I couldn't describe it, it's more than happiness, sadness, experience and all other mixed feeling that I could ever describe. It's not as bad as you think but at the same time it's not as good as you think. It's a mixture ( i bet you be reminded of your chemistry). However, it's a colourful mixture way than you can imagine, here you will learn to see everything in your own point of view. You are no longer a child or youngster who only limited to school activities and people around you. It's more and who know insya Allah it might as well reach to the whole world.
So, after SPM, you will be faced many interviews all around and it's not only for the SPM leavers also for those who will have to face tons (over exaggerated) or maybe few of interviews. So, actually I am a timid person and I don't like interviews. Shiroyo! (for those who know Korean, not sure if it correct or not).  However, once in a while you just have to break through that barrier. So, I'm going to write some tips ( i hope to write at least 100++ but I know it's impossible) but I hope I can up-to-date from time to time and for whoever wants to give opinion, I will accept them with a smile :) Just comment below.

1-be prepared! ok, it's cliche of course you have to be prepared to everything even in SPM you have to prepare right? So don't take for granted for any interview offers. It might just come once in your lifetime and who know that's your destiny.

2-prepare on your speech, social speech or everything. For someone like me, I rarely talk but I know in an interview, a conversation is an important part and that's what determine whether they will impress by you or not. Most of the interview will be held in English or might as well in Malaysian but be prepared in English. When I was 18 years old I know my English was not that good and it's more to local tone. Just brush up a lil bit. You can search on youtube, English British or English American. Try the best as you can to speak like them. Don't mad at me because even in Jordan, the people here they don't speak English with their Arabic tone, most of them will speak with American tone. Since English is their origin, might as well we respect them and use the language like the way they are. Read articles aloud. I would recommend Suhaibwebb because most of the articles in English and apart from brushing up your English you will be able to gain knowledge :) Insya Allah

3-mentally calm please. don't panic~ why would you be panic? would you like to equalize that panic meeting your crush ( a long time already i don't have that feeling haha, my standards increase proportionally to the age?) with that interview?? unless you meet your crush there. be calm , recites anything, to me i like to istighfar since I think I am not a good person and i think that what make me panic what if they can see me as not an competent/qualify person. you know since you have you black days too.

4-don't emotionally thinking it all time around. so you have prepared for it, allocate time for it. don't spend the whole gap before you interview. don't overdo it. sometime, just let what come come ( what kind of English is this??) maybe around 1-2 hour a day? or none at all :p

5-be honest. most people like me will prepared their own speech or text before going in. but actually speaking naturally, about what's your opinion at that time with honesty. don't use difficult words or bombastics words to impress, they won't. and usually they will ask about somwthing unrelated or unexpected ( i mean can you ever expect correctly what will they ask) and for example i was asked about my name, what my name mean, why, what etc. why would they dissect my my name??? I don't research about my name and at last I have to answer simply y=just what I think at that time and I think that's what help me ^-^

6-ask those with experience. you know that idiom, makan garam. it is true we have to ask those who had faced these interviews before since they know how it will look like and so they can advice you with something within our ability. during my time i ask my mother father or even stranger how to act in an interview. though i dont think i applied to everything but listening to them giving you advice a lil bit help you to expect during the real interview.

7-nothing else could work without asking for His permission. It's important to pray to  Allah SWT to help you because no matter how perfect you were, if you don't rely with Allah, you won't be able to pass it calmly. You know, it's different feeling when you are doing it while relying to Allah and opposite where the former would make you feel calmer and when the result is out and you're not listed you can accept the fate where later would left you devastated. There's one time where I don't prepare much for my exam because I know I would pass it anyway unfortunately I was just one mark behind to failed (which I barely passed) and I realized that I was arrogant at that time I don't even seek to Him since I don't know why I was 100% sure that I would pass around 60-70% which was wrong. From that moment, I always try to always remember Him in everything I do, without Him, I think I'm weak. Well, we are, but relying with Allah make me stronger.

8-be yourselves. don't try to act like someone else. just be yourselves in the interview. try to find what's your unique/special abilities that could attract the attention of the interviewers on you. like if you are multilingual, used this to show to them that you are capable of speaking multilingualism. For example like France, German, don't lie if you don't, find the other ability, I'm sure each one of us have their own abilities. ask your parent or someone near you if you hardly know any because usually these kind of people is humble he he.

9-have confidence! peeps, i know, i'm not someone who has very high esteem, in fact, i hate showing that i have self esteem unless i need too. like during my interview seriously i force myself be positive, don't show you were scared and try to voice out your opinion with confidence. and later after the interview, i just back being me who is very scare of anything. haha. that's why i wrote myself as someone who has multi personality change according to surrounding :P

10-give the best of you and pass it out! i always thought that just overdo everything that's only once in a lifetime. whether you get embarrassed or humiliated just face it since it's not like it will effect you in anyway (sure I am writing right now with that feeling at the moment that sometime i just shouted with my face on the pillow so that the voice wouldn't be obvious that much) besides, whenever we have something embarrassing happen we do something to relieve it right? like when something like that happen to me i just go for a walk alone, go to the mall, buying weird things and sometime I just don't study, i take my time off because it's hard. or watch something funny which is I will watch Korean talk show Hello Counselor, seriously it lifted some of the burden.

Insya Allah I will write more :)

Tahajjud

Assalamualaikum!
I think my ability to write lengthy post getting bad and that's making my ability to speak or create my own opinion getting worse, though I thought that I getting better, at least for now but I couldn't deny that I feel lacking. Sometime, I thought to myself whether I have Dementia or not. I know that's too extreme even the youngest age that I know to get this is around 40. So let's pray that I still have the ability to think properly is still there hang in there don't go away I need you!
So,  I think one of the way to avoid that is by writing and by writing is anything whether you write your own story, your own opinion, or you are imagining thing. so I thought of making story. And actually I wish I could shout to people that I can speak out loud more in writing than using my voice. Using voice is difficult to me. However, I know there are people who wish they could speak.
I think there are things that we thought it might be something that normal to them but to some people they are not. They have to work hard for it. And I know how that feel, but I am grateful for being able to realize it now. You know, I have things that I want and it's been 5 months. I have been doing everything that I can to have that, but do you know what make it come? Doa. People thought that there are things you don not have to wish for and still they can have it. However, I really have to put an effort for that. And actually what's delay it, actually it an just came but somehow Allah wanted me to pray to Him. I remember the events around that time, I woke up suddenly twice in the midnight. I performed prayer. And I asked Him for that, and amazingly I have it. Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin. I think what people said that do Tahajjud surely you will find the difference. Seriously, the first time I did it I feel quite calm and the next time I did it again I'm calmer and alhamdulillah I got what I want. So imagine for other people who do it regularly? It must be amazing.
That's why I thing that prayer or doa should be your strength. Sometime things come in unexpected ways.
I have to be consistent in writing this actually. I like writing actually.
Insya Allah I will make it an effort ( i wonder this is how many times i said the exact things over and over again)
Well, take care peeps!