Have tou ever had that feeling where you just feel that you had enough of people in your life? You do not feel like adding or knowing new people intentionally unless it was emergency or coincidence? I feel like that. I feel like I have enough friends to know and I do not not think I should pursue to know someone new. It just not thing that I would be happy to know. I know it's wrong. Maybe it is just because we are in foreign country where language act as a barrier? I wonder if i were in Malaysia, things would still be the same, or I might actually knowing new people but the language seems to stop me from doing it. However, it would be irrelevant because could not speak with the language of them does not mean you can not trying to be friend with them, like I just watch Pocahontas yesterday and hoe the native Indian Pocahontas could interact with John Smith which is British guy without any difficulty, they speak with language of their heart. Or maybe because I try so hard to understand them that sometimes I jist feel exhausted. I know I should be given up and on top of all of this, I know what I am doing is wrong but it seems like I do not want to step out of the position I am now. I do not want to become someone who does not give up, I mean being someone who given up is better? I do not want to be talkative because I do not like that, I do not want to be someone who wants to know about other people , because I do not think it is approriate to get know people too deep.
So, actually I have my own reason why I do not want to be like someone who is better to be. However, I consider all of these UNLESS it happens so sudden that I could not think all about this.
So in conclusion, let coincidence be the one that decide everything. I read that coincidences are the God's way of doing so I guess I leave it to You, Ya Allah. I will accept and I will do the best as I can and that moment. But until that time, I couldn't do anything.